Avoid the Triple C's AT ALL COSTS

CCC

Zekya Clare

Feb 16, 2023

Happy Thursday My Friend!

How to Win Friends and Influence People:

A Timeless Guide to Social Interaction

Written by Dale Carnegie in 1936, the book has sold over 30 million copies
The book's principles are still relevant today, proving the effectiveness of its techniques
The book serves as a guide to navigating complex human relationships in both personal and professional settings

Lesson 1:

Avoid criticism, Condemnation, and Complaints

Criticism puts people on the defensive and wounds their pride
Instead, try to understand the person's perspective and show sympathy and kindness
When criticism is necessary, start with compliments and end with positive feedback
This approach leads to a more positive response and productive outcome

Dale Carnegie, the author of "How to Win Friends and Influence People"

Considered Criticism, Condemnation, and Complaints to be counterproductive…

When it comes to improving relationships and influencing others.

Here's a bit more detail on each:

Criticism:
Criticizing someone means pointing out their faults or mistakes in a negative way.
This can make people defensive and resistant to change, as they feel attacked and may try to justify their actions instead of focusing on the problem at hand.
Condemnation:
Condemning someone is similar to criticizing, but is even more extreme.
It involves passing a negative judgment on someone's character or behavior.
This can be damaging to relationships, as it puts the other person on the defensive and can make them feel personally attacked.
Complaints:
Complaining involves expressing dissatisfaction or annoyance with something, often in a negative or unconstructive way.
This can be a drain on relationships, as it focuses on the negative aspects of a situation rather than looking for solutions or ways to improve things.

Overall, Carnegie believed that avoiding criticism, condemnation, and complaints was key to building positive relationships and influencing others effectively.

Instead, he advocated for using positive reinforcement, understanding, and constructive feedback to help people improve and achieve their goals.

Actionable Steps you can take to Avoid criticizing, condemning, and complaining:

Practice empathy:
Put yourself in the other person's shoes and try to understand their perspective. This can help you avoid jumping to conclusions or making assumptions that may lead to criticism or condemnation.
Focus on the positive:
Instead of immediately pointing out what's wrong or what you don't like about a situation or person, try to find something positive to say first. This can help create a more positive and constructive dialogue.
Use "I" statements:
Instead of blaming or accusing someone else, focus on how their actions or words make you feel. This can help avoid a defensive response and keep the conversation more focused on finding a solution.
Practice active listening:
Really listen to what the other person is saying, without interrupting or judging them. This can help you better understand their perspective and avoid making assumptions or jumping to conclusions.
Offer constructive feedback:
If you must offer criticism or correction, do so in a constructive way. Offer specific, actionable feedback that can help the other person improve, rather than simply pointing out what they're doing wrong.

By following these steps, you can avoid falling into the trap of criticizing, condemning, or complaining, and instead focus on building more positive and constructive relationships with others.

That’s all I go for today!

-Zekya