Complete guide to becoming the tribe leader (How to become popular)
Become a leader and create an authentic personal brand
Overcoming Reclusiveness
Greetings Friend,
I hope this email finds you well.
I wanted to share some practical steps to help overcome reclusiveness, which is a common stage that many people experience.
For context, this is based on the YouTube video here created by Hamza
Challenge:
Move towards stage 5 and become a leader and create an amazing authentic personal brand unlike any other.
Requirements:
Atomic Habits by James Clear audiobook, How to Win friends and influence people by Dale Carnegie, A burning desire to change your life, create lifelong friends, and help many people on your path to success.
Stage 1 Goal:
Stop being a Recluse and move towards meeting new people and friends, use the practical advice from Atomic Habits and How to win friends and influence people.
This process may take a couple of months.
Stage 1: Most people are stuck in this stage, spending too much time on the internet and now lack social skills because of it.
Question: What is the most common thing you do most days? (probably internet related)
The Problem: You are currently controlled by the ego, and you don’t want to take any extra challenges or focus on building up your social skills because you get “rewarded” through virtual achievements and a false sense of status and brotherhood online.
(It is possible to say no to your ego, your feelings and control your thoughts and consciously create actions and habits to rewire your brain for success effortlessly)
The biggest problem with this stage is the excessive use of the internet and spending too much time indoors
It is important to lower your ego and acknowledge that there is an issue and seek help by taking ACTION
Consider how much time you spend on the internet and video games, which provide a sense of achievement and reduce the need for social stimulation
Experience life as a popular individual before deciding to be a lone wolf
To move to Stage 2:
This is the most important habit you must do:
Go on a daily walk (15 min to 1 hour) while listening to the "Atomic Habits" audiobook the goal here is to soak in the information and apply it to the real world
I’d suggest using wired headphones and keeping only one earbud in at a time (air pods have a lot of radiation and can create brain fog)
Progressive overload in social skills building:
Refers to gradually increasing the level of social interaction and challenging oneself in new social situations
Aimed at gradually improving social skills and comfort levels in social situations
By gradually increasing the level of difficulty, individuals can build social skills and confidence in a manageable way
Avoids risking feelings of discomfort or overwhelm by jumping into difficult social situations right away
Step 1: Go on walks every day (15 mins to 1 hour a day)
Step 2: Start making make eye contact with others
Step 3: Say "Hi," or “Morning” this is called speaking pleasantries
Step 4: Ask questions
The purpose of this is to intentionally build up your social skills and slowly step out of your comfort zone to build up your social skills
The interesting thing is, 90% of people have never intentionally tried to up their social skills in a process similar to this, be different stand out from the crowd
Lower your ego and have faith in the process, even though it may seem simple
Trust in the advice from the audiobook here (You can start an audible free trial and get the book free I believe, make sure you cancel the trial right after if you don’t want to be charged later)
Use the practical steps in How to win friends and influence people here
Things to Remember:
Have faith in the process, this is the hardest stage, trust in the book Atomic Habits, Stage 1 is now over so celebrate!
You now have stepped out of the Recluse stage and are on your way to being a leader.
Stage 2: Build social skills, practice, and create a burning desire to learn
Here are some actionable steps for developing your social skills and self-improvement:
Embrace a growth mindset: View yourself as a lifelong student, always seeking opportunities to learn and grow.
Remember this is all in your control, do not have this mindset “Oh, I am already learning from my formal education, I don’t need to spend time learning this…”
Be proactive in your learning: Learning social skills is not the same as traditional education. Take control of what you learn and how you apply it.
Read "How to Win Friends and Influence People": This book is a valuable resource for guiding you in the right direction.
Don't let excuses hold you back: Don't label yourself with terms such as "I have social anxiety." Focus on leveling up your social skills and putting what you've learned into action.
Practice the cold approach: Consider learning about the cold approach, which involves initiating conversations with strangers.
Be patient and persistent: Reversing the damage done to your social skills from excessive internet usage may take several months, but stay committed and dedicated to your growth and improvement.
Remember to send me a DM if you have any questions
So by now, you have been going on walks every day, using pleasantries in all the people you pass, and now you are ready to move to Stage 3
Small wins will add up over time, so stay dedicated to your growth and improvement. Remember, time will pass anyway, so why not make the most of it?
If you have any questions or need further guidance, please don't hesitate to reach out.
This is it for today, I will catch you in the next email tomorrow when we move to:
Stage 3: Value
Best regards, Zekya
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